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Single fathers – and single mothers – must be careful who they allow into their children’s lives.
To royally screw up a kid, just let them see a parent with a rotating door of ‘relationships’ coming through the house.
If you meet a guy you like and he has kids, here are some things to consider:1. Ideally, his parenting style will mesh with your beliefs about how children should be raised. Most of his time is devoted to his kids — and you must respect that.
The number of kids he has will affect your relationship BIG TIME. Once you meet a divorced dad’s kids, pay attention to their behavior. Some kids will be slow to warm up to you, and even the sweetest kids have bad days and can be bratty or cranky at times, but beware of children who disrespect you or their father, or who show consistent behavioral problems. The more parenting time a divorced dad has, the more his children will influence your relationship. Unless the divorced dad is a widow, all children come with a mom.
I receive lots of emails from women, many without children, asking questions about dating single dads.
The common problem is meeting his children – specifically, why won’t he let her meet them, why he avoids, or goes hot and cold, about meeting them, and similar.
My advice to these women is often the same – patience and understanding.It seems for many of these women, meeting his kids is a really big deal. It’s a sign, a sign of interest, a sign of faithfulness, perhaps a sign of his love.And for single dads who are doing the job of fatherhood right, it should be a sign.She might try to turn his kids against him, or attempt take his kid(s) from him; all as a way to punish him for her displeasure, or out of jealousy.He worries that a new, overly zealous, girlfriend may threaten the mom’s role, and suddenly his kids become ‘too busy’ to see dad.
So, let me say now, a woman with patience and understanding to this predicament, who chooses not to press the issue of meeting the kids too hard, is someone to be treasured and appreciated. What I mean is not only must a single parent (mom or dad) navigate the emotions and expectations of an ex, they also must consider the kid’s thoughts and feelings.